Pano ba dapat tapusin ang isang bagay na alam mong matagal ng tapos.  kung bakit patuloy kang nagpapauto kahit alam mong nasasaktan ka naman.  Pagod kna pero ayaw mo padin magpahinga.  Pag alam moba na kailanagn ka mali bang tumalikod?  Pano kung ikaw lang ang bigay ng bigay, wala kba karapatang mapagod.  Palagi na lang bang ganon ang sitwasyon?  Parang plaka na lang ba ang buhay ko, umuulit lang sa umpisa? Kung napapasaya mo sila bakit d ko makuhang suklian ng tuwa?  Ano na lang ba ang papel ko sa buhay? Ang maging palamuti sa buhay nyo?  Kelan naman ang oras ko na ako naman ang mangailangan?  May maasahan ba ako?

Gusto ko na mapagod sa pagintindi at pagunawa sa inyo.  Sana maging manhid naman ako paminsan minsan.  Ayoko na, tama na to...

it was not the first time for me but it was the most difficult I guess.  im just 4 months old here in UAE, just a newbie. No family and no friends.  I suppose I made new pals and new buddies but the old can't be replaced. No one to cry to and no one to go home to when you feel the crowd has rejected you. 

I found a second home here in Abu Dhabi and a second family in the place I stay.  There's genuine concern and pure appreciation in the simple things I do.   I call our place "bahay ni kuya" because as the reality TV show goes, folks get to be evicted or would migrate to other 'flat' in other words.  Else there would be new neighbors.  Fortunately, I have been lucky because all who have moved in or out became my friend.  Aside from joy, the most closest to me is Mommy and Bunso for I spent most of my time here with them.  Speaking of Joy, i missed that stubborn gal. Haay Joy, I wish your doing great in your newly found home and newly found friends.

But where is the conflict?  Conlift starts when you get so used to being with the person you are so comfortable  with and you get to do unusual things simply because you're happy doing it.  Conflict starts when you get the wrong signals. Conflict starts with misunderstanding. You can't just run and cry like a little kid.  Grown ups don't do that instead we face the situation and try to iron out the situation.  But what if your are unware that all the while the joke was on you.  Wow, its too much for a bad trip. 'Sarap manapak' pero mas payapa ang umiyak na lang.  I really felt bad that they belittle my soul.  I never thought the 'He' would misinterpret  everything I did and was doing for him which I do for everyone else.  Masama ba maging sweet?  Masama ba maging maasikaso?  Masama ba maging mabait?  I love being appreciated as am very appreciative of the simple gestures people do to me.  It made me feel  important.  I made me feel  loved.  Damn to what they say 'age gap'.  Di naman yan kinder o grade 1 eh.  Sana hinarap na lang ako at sinabi nya.  Sa totoo lang napahiya ako.  I felt so little the moment I knew the story and hated my self too much.  Nakakahiya talaga. 

7 years.  That’s how big our gap is and as expected I should be the one to get a hold of the situation.  Di ako dapat ang masaktan.  'Demonyo lang ang nag-iisip ng masama' , this just fit well.  Kau na magisip ng dapat nyo isipin.  I know myself and I know where I stand.  If I am being too nice it's only because I am a nice person.  Im easy to love and if you feel in a way that I am liking you, well, I would advice you to be proud.  Why, because you are lucky to be liked by me.  Hehe, cge Melai itayo ang bandera ng kababaihan. 

But seriously speaking, the time you felt I was already liking you, my question is, 'why, is it because you feel  the same way too?  Inakala mo kc eh baka dahil un ang gusto mo mangyari, ang gustuhin kita….

its my second week here in Abu Dhabi and still amazed of the nice places.  The malls are although they are nothing compared to our malls in the philippines.  I love the nice fountains in Marina mall, hehe kewl.  I love the people here, they are all nice to look at but some are really strange (as in).

Can't write more since I have so many things to do still and I just miss my blog so I'm here writing about things that makes no sense at all, hehe, thanks for droppin by my place, enjoy...

Simple as his name implies

A jewel to everyone around

A precious possession

An unraveled treasure

His smile radiates the serenity of his soul

Holding up to purity of his heart

The transparency in his eyes

Actualize the innocence of his mind

In a crowd he stands out

Not to the flashy stuffs he has

But his companionship and genuine care

And the subtle warmth he shares

He talks with all sincerity

Imparts his mind and share his love

Doesn’t waste time to flirt around

Sensitive to the feeling he might affront

I salute to your purpose

I value your ideas and opinions

I was never wrong about you

You are indeed a friend for keeps

Thanks for treating me the way I deserved to be treated. Likewise you will always have a friend in me. 

Akala ko magiging masaya ako ng makita ka.  pero may lungkot sa mga mata mo na nakakahawa.  Sa totoo lang ay sabik din ako na ika'y makita, isang matagal ng kahilingan ang makausap ka ng masinsinan.  Sana pala'y hinayaan ko na lang ang pagkakataon ang gumawa ng paraan para tayo'y magkita.  Hindi na kase ikaw ang taong dati kong nakilala.  Nakakapaso ang mga sandali na kaharap ka parang kay tagal lumipas ng bawat segundo.  Ganun pala ang pakiramdam ng naninimbang.  Wala akong napala ni hindi ko nabasa ang laman ng iyong isip. 

Masaya akong nakita ka pero sana hindi na lang pala. You are better in my memory... 

Tagal ko din nabakante sa blog ko, may mga bagay kase na nangyari at napakahirap ilahad dito.  Lubos kase akala ko na alam ko na ang ikot ng mundo pero nagulat na lang ako nang nadala ako sa agos na hindi ko man lang namalayan.   Muntik ko na nga atang hindi naabot ang pampang at tuluyan nang dumausdos sa talon ng kawalan.

 

May mga pagkakataong naisip ko na ang mga puwedeng mangyari sa loob ng isang taon ay nangyari sa akin sa loob lang ng ilang araw lamang.   Mas matagal pa ang  araw na aking pinag-alala kesa sa mga pangyayari. Sabi ko nga 'I learned big time'.  Mapaglaro ang pagkakataon, dapat marunong ka din sumabay sa tugtog at marunong sa alintuntunin ng laro para hindi ka mauwing luhaan o matalo man ay makabawi din sa huli

 

Haaay buhay, minsan kase pag malungkot ka nagiging mahina ka.  Sa kagustuhan mong sumaya ay minsan napapahamak ka.   Sa bilis nga naman ng teknolohiya madaling maghanap ng panandaliang saya.  Ilang kumpas lang ng mouse at pindot ng keyboard ay siguradong may mapapala ka na.   Yun nga lang wag kang umasa na pangmatagalan ang madadarama mong saya, pag nagkataon baka pang isang araw lang ang iyong makuha.  Hehe, nakakatuwa din naman, parang hindi kapanipaniwala pero nangyayari sa totoong buhay at malamang sa bawat isa sa atin.

 

Maingat na ako ngayon at may tapang at angas na para humarap sa mga bagong paghamon.  Sabi nga nila sa bawat pagdapa kaabang-abang ang oras ng pagbangon. Hehe, walang linaw ang entry ko noh, pero basta...ngayon alam ko na....

    

Way Back Into Love, haha, from the movie Music and Lyrics.  It was fun naman I just don't want to remember the day I watched it.  It's another day I would insist of forgetting.  But anyhow, the movie and the song will forever remind me of my vulnerabilty and idiocy.  Haay, a poignant result of boredom and loneliness. Happiness, so simple yet so elusive. 

Lyrics here, enjoy everyone.  (from jenss, thanks)

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

They said sleep after sex was the best, but I hate to prove this wrong. Last night was the best sleep I ever had in I can't remember when.  It was my first time in years that I slept through the night without being interrupted. Haaay, sarap ng ganun.  I missed that, thanks to a friend who allowed me to have a little drink.  Nice to know I'm safe na. 

Love is such a strong word but often abused.  They say men use this word to get laid and ladies give sex to gain love.  Painful irony but that's how things go.  Sometimes its better to set love aside and just feel the moment.  No I love you's would mean no hurtful goodbyes.  A relationship not bounded by love is risky but seamlessly fair. No pressure and its always easy to get out anytime. 

So, how did everyone celebrated valentine's day?

 Got this from Cutepsycho's page, maybe its one reason why its better not settle for a love relationship because men cheats almost instantly ... read on

Why do Men Cheat?

1. Sex - Yes, pure and simple. A man may cheat on you simply for sex. A man is able to have sex with another woman without having feelings for her. He can also have sex with another woman without affecting his emotions for his partner. So we guess the good news is that if your man has had sex with another woman, he may still be in love with you !

2. Ego - We all know how the male likes to have his ego boosted every now and then. Well having sex with a woman is a boost to his ego. The more women he has, the bigger the boost. If you don't believe us, just listen to guys talking about sex, they are more likely to talk about quantity rather than quality.

3. Excitement - Men, like us all, need excitement in their lives. Sometimes a relationship can squash that excitement, no matter how good the relationship. Having an affair brings some excitement back for them. We guess it's like having a new toy.

4. Because they can - How often have we heard this excuse? Yet it is true, men can cheat by having affairs and perhaps do it without too much conscience pricking.

5. Trophy hunting - This seems to go back to the very basics of male instincts. Young guys before they settle down are keen on trophy hunting - be it notches on the bed post, marks in a diary, empty wine bottles, photos etc. They are more interested in the number of girls they lay as a means of proving themselves to other guys and to themselves. It seems that some guys just cannot let go of this phase and may cheat in order to continue hunting trophies.

6. Fear of getting old - It seems that to some men, cheating is a way of proving to themselves and their mates that they are still young and able to 'pull'